On creativity, disappointments and staying true to yourself

No, that heading is not a title for a self-help book. I just wanted to write about my experience as a first year design student and all the wonderful things I learnt this year. As you may have noticed I've basically abandoned this blog because I have had no spare time during semesters. 

Studying design is surprisingly demanding and time consuming and asks so much of you emotionally (meltdowns, being on the verge of crying during a panel criticism), mentally (continuous, rigorous thinking), physically (lack of sleep) and creatively.

I just finished my final assessment for this year and my work which I've obsessed over for weeks was ceremoniously ripped apart by a panel of architects, designers and artists. They exposed everything that was wrong with the project. They were all correct. I couldn't argue against anything they said.

There was also so much exquisite work produced by other students I was just embarrassed to present even in the same room with them.

Coming home I got to thinking about why my work failed miserably and then looking at all my models and drawings it eventually hit me. The work had absolutely no reflection of who I was a designer. It didn't encapsulate my beliefs or had any of my metaphorical fingerprints on it. It was so devoid of personality I can just yawn from its banality.

My best work was the very first project and comparing the two it was obvious how I went from designing for myself to designing for someone who I thought was myself. I think I looked over my shoulders a bit too much during this semester and subconsciously absorbed too much of other people's work to the point that it diluted my own and I lost my own personality and beliefs as a designer. In short, I wanted to be something I was not and consequently, I went through a design process that did not work for my skill sets.

People always tell you to stay true to yourself and that's the way to produce incredible work but I never realised how easy it was to lose yourself along the way.

So everybody say it with me. STCIK TO YOUR GUNS.

Mapping the city

In one of my design classes we treat the city as a studio and as part of our mapping project we had to embark on a derive. A derive is a journey through the city which involves actively observing urban spaces in a new way - igniting curiosity, noticing previously unnoticed information and heightening the consciousness of one's surroundings.

Then we begin to map the city beyond the geographic and topographic lines and start to map the city based on emotion, psychology, economics, politics, history, philosophy, architecture and concept.

My theme for this project is transformation - exploring this notion of an unfinished city, a city of cycles and flows: decay/construction, architecture/human, space/time, movement/idleness.

All photos were captured and edited by me during one of my derives.

Excuses, excuses

No blogging for more than a month. Apologies. The evil university fiend has struck once again wielding assessment after assessment.

This is photographic proof that I've actually been doing work these past few weeks and haven't been lazy (not that much, anyway). Interior and spatial design is a surprisingly challenging degree. Drawings, model making and mapping are incredibly time consuming tasks. On top of this, I basically suck at any practical work. But no worries, I'll learn somehow.

In other news...I can't express into words how perfect The Hunger Games movie was. I saw it at a midnight screening and it was such an experience. Jennifer Lawrence is perfect as Katniss, I'm so in love with her. Josh Hutcherson is the best looking baker I've seen. Whats-his-face is bleh as Gale, probably because I'm Team Peeta anyway (yes, I'm going there). 

Time to re-read the books!

Hopefully I can get more 200 movies and 50 books posts up. I haven't read much except for uni readings and I've been indulging in TV shows instead of movies. 

Art-wise, I recently saw the Picasso exhibition which I went to on the very last day, on the very last hour of the exhibition. Yes, I'm one of those people who do things in the last minute just for the adrenaline rush.

The exhibition really exposed how very little I know about Picasso's work. I didn't even what on earth Cubism was until that day. Shame. 

Out of all the works, La Celestina emerged as my favourite. Purely for its eerie feel and how it's kind of Diane Arbus with a touch of evil gypsy woman from Sam Raimi's Drag Me To Hell. 

University life

The HSC (final high school exams) for 2011 students started this week. I can't believe a year has already passed and that exactly a year ago I was one of those people who were having constant panic attacks about the HSC. For the record, I wasn't panicking about the actual exams like everyone else (admittedly, I was excited - don't judge) but instead worrying about the fact that I wasn't worrying enough about it. I lost all motivation during the HSC study holiday (spot the oxymoron!) and just wanted to get it over and done with. I didn't do as well as I expected but still managed to get into uni and into my first degree preference. 

Graduation excitement with Tami

That degree was Media and Journalism. You see, I've always wanted to be a writer (hence, le blog) and journalism seemed like the right career path. Additionally, the degree allowed the study of an arts minor which meant that I was able to do film studies. 

I was excited to start. I was finally going to study what I was truly passionate about. The only problem? I found out journalism is not really my passion at all. Studying film studies was worse because even though I had a love affair with cinema, studying the subject within an academic setting was definitely not what I had imagined. It made it seem like a chore and drained all the passion and the excitement right out of it. 

I've already applied for a transfer next year to do a Bachelor of Design because I did design subjects as electives this year and I ended up falling in love with it. The best thing about university is navigating through all these different paths and unexpectedly stumbling into a completely different path from the one you started on.

Now I know many will be starting university next year and here are a couple of tips from me:

1) Read all your syllabuses. Thoroughly. 

Many students get fail grades because they didn't read the assessment instructions properly or they were unaware of particular rules set within that particular course. Different faculties have different rules and rules may even differ between courses. You must know about the rules with things like required attendance, late submission penalties, and extension policies. 

2) Caffeine will be your sidekick.

If you are already a caffeine fiend, skip this one. If not, meet Caffeine. He will get you through all nighters, post-party morning lectures and late night readings. You will find him in two uni staples: coffees and Red Bulls. 

3) Purchase a university jumper

It may seem great never having to wear uniform anymore but you will have one of those days when you have absolutely nothing to wear. It's easier to just grab your jumper, put on some jeans and go.

4) Don't put all your tutorials in one day.

I did this and I regret it. Usually homework will be due on the day of your tutorial so scheduling them all in one day will mean a hectic day beforehand. 

5) Learn how to do academic referencing PROPERLY.

They're extremely particular about this and you can easily lose marks for things like misspelling an author's name right down to something petty like misplacing a comma. Reference as you go, this is not something to be done in the last minute.

6) Don't schedule a class on a Friday.

I don't know about other unis but in mine, parties usually happen on Thursday nights. So placing a 9am tutorial on a Friday may not be a good idea. Schedule classes in the afternoon if you have no other choice. Also, Fridays are quiet days at uni and it's usually almost empty.

Uni Party

7) Eat at Stock Market.

This is for those going to UNSW only. This place has the best salads. No joke.

8) Academic independence is a double-edged sword.

Most of your learning will happen outside the class. Learn how to figure things out yourself and use your resources wisely. It's different to high school in that no one is there to guide, pester or hold your hand. Classes are much larger and most of your lecturers won't even know who you are. Even though there are plenty of avenues to get help with your work, it's better to learn how to work things out yourself.

Apple obsession and university rant

I've neglected my blog once again. Really need to get back into the habit once again.


Just got the new Macbook Pro and I don't think I've been this excited about a technology upgrade since I got the iPad, and the iPhone before that. Notice a pattern here?


It's so sleek and pretty compared to my fugly, overweight Dell laptop. The sound the keyboard makes when typing is the best sound ever, it's got a really satisfying tap, like a typewriter.


Apart from that awesome purchase, the other big thing that happened in the past month is I've started going to university.
(COMMENCE UNI RANT)


I miss my high school friends so much! I didn't move out to another state or anything, fortunately my uni is 20 minutes away from where I live, but I still don't get to see my friends as often as I would like. Everyone is really nice but I've only made acquaintances. It's really hard to get close to people because I only see people in one or two classes a week, plus our timetables are all different. I miss being in a really big group to have lunch breaks with! After talking to a couple of friends (who go to a different uni), I found out I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's only been four weeks so maybe I should give it time?


Another thing, I don't really talk much in tutorials, I literally become mute for no reason. This is unusual since in high school I'm usually the one being asked to shut up in class.
I have a feeling some of the students and tutors think I'm an non-English speaking student or something because I never open my mouth in class, unless I really have to.


Don't get me started about the workload. My academic readings make me wish I couldn't read. Homework and assessments keep piling up and I don't really know what is going on half the time. Plus I'm so unmotivated and creatively uninspired, I feel like I'm trapped in academia prison. It's funny because I'm studying things I love - writing, journalism, film and design - so I don't really know what is going on.  I'm seriously considering dropping my degree after this semester and going to film school, or fashion design school.


(END UNI RANT)


Wow, that was a good vent.